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This team has a long list of higher priority requirements, so this request is not likely to be implemented anytime soon.
IBM has received this requirement and is evaluating it. IBM will provide a response after evaluation is complete.
However, in the mean time, you can make an update to your application to timeout the connection with sockets APIs. Use a non-blocking socket on your connect call and if the connection has not completed upon return from connect, poll can be used to wait for the socket to become writable. If after the specified timeout the socket is not writable, poll will timeout because the connection has not completed. You can then close the socket to end the connection attempt and move on to your next connection.
It would be very useful to have a setting on the IBM i that allowed you to control the number of times a SYN was retransmitted before failing and handing back control to the application. It would bring it in line with a number of other Operating Systems that do allow this as a tunable option, although this would need to be a general TCP attribute setting (or *SYS ENVVAR) rather than an option on the connect() API I suspect.
As a potential stop gap or workaround to the OP, perhaps add some code to the application to do a PING to the remote address before attempting a connect() to test if the remote address is available or not??